Catching Up

So, what has everyone been up to these days?
I just got into college last September. Was in Theatre, but now I am in Psychology.
Mmmm... I worked at a summer camp for kids with physical and intellectual disabilities, like ADD/ADHD, Autism, Down Syndrome, Global Delay. It was an eye-opening experience, and where I realized that I do indeed love kids.
Now I tutor kids with learning disabilities. It's always entertaining. But the kids are adorable.
That's pretty much the jist of what's been happening here.

Tell meh alllll aboot yous!

These emoticons are fuuuunnnn...

Well... back in 2005...
I moved back to my home country for reasons beyond my control. It's been nearly 3 years since then. I just found out last month that I will not be aable to go back to the States until 2015, maybe. So until then, I'm bunkered here in Suriname... with an english dialect that is scoring me no points. My parents have divorced, my sister is in Holland (practically married now) and my brother is a big rapstar here without most regard for family [until he needs something].
I've gone to a local school here for art (when I say local, I really mean I have to catch 2 buses and still walk to school) back in Oct. '06, but quit going do to serious lack of interest. When my 20th birthday came around, it was about time for me to stop being a drain on the economy (which is pretty horrid here) and get a job. 4 days later- I got one, but it seems I arrived in the company's decline. It lasted till September, when my employer could no longer promise a salary at the end of the month. So, without further ado- I quit. A month later I found another one, where I am currently at now and thinking of quitting since they pay me peanuts for what I can do (and have done for them).
My plans now are either:
1) Look for a new job with better benefits, respectable co-workers, and a boss that doesn't have assaches all day or 2) Work with my mother to help her in her business (she is now the official spokeswoman for Brother sewing in this country), which has it's own rewards. I'll be a graphic designer and a repairman for the machines. I see money.. $v$

And now, I'm co-founder of the forums with Jenn. =3

Why don't you go to Holland then? Or is there a passport problem? I didn't know you were from Suriname, wow.

My own adventures:
I am still doing psychology but having two years of delay I finally realised the field of research is not for me. I am quite adept at writing reports but setting up a proposal which has to fit strict requirements is just my idea of hell. But I don't know what do then. I want to finish my bachelor next schoolyear in which I will have to have found my real direction. Huh....
Relationship wise, I am the happiest camper ever. I am in love with the sweetest boy and battling my insecurities. Emotionally (and spiritually) I am still trying to cope but the right way to go has never really left my mind, though it sometimes leaves my application. But on the other hand, it's going good for now, shouldn't be so pessimistic about it. My emotions are very close to my identity, which was one of my first goals.

LOve, Sel.

Celena_J wrote:Why don't you go to Holland then? Or is there a passport problem? I didn't know you were from Suriname, wow.

Yep, true by blood to be South American, but just not raised like one (thank god). And Holland has much stricter requirements to become a citizen there. My father went there after the divorce and I haven't seen him since (but have spoken to him on a regular basis). Things always sound easy sometimes, but then that's just all of it.

BUT- Nice to have you on the Coast, Celena! Hope you enjoy it here. That goes for Ina and Divya as well!

Hey Celena, after four years of studying Psychology and receiving my BA in that field I want NOTHING to do with psychology/psychiatry EVER. I have lost so much respect for the profession...but there is so much you can do with a Psych degree. Right now I work for a law firm, and one of the things they were looking for was a psych degree. So dont worry, you are in demand in other fields besides Psychology, social work, and counseling.

Artful, I traveled around central america for a few weeks mostly to see all the ruins, and found the people and the culture so incredibly un-American it was fantastic. I own a tree over looking Guatemala. How does the town you live in look? Do you not like it?

Jen, It takes so much patience to work with kids, especially kids with the disorders you mentioned, I think it is fantastic that you 'found your calling.' I personally would not be able to be around kids (wow I just experienced de ja vu, odd) and I adore that you are doing it.

Thanks Ina! I definitely hope I get to be around them more often. They created this amazing atmosphere and were so much more fascinating to be around. They are attentive to the most minute of details, it's impressive. Like, when a leaf would fall into the pool, most of the kids would just keep splashing, but they would stop what they were doing and watch the leaf in the water (they couldn't swim, so we had to follow them everywhere they went, hold them up). What they see and hear is so different from what we perceive. Cos of them I'm still learning (and slowly tuning myself) to that way of thinking- finding the little things that mean the most

How about you Ina, what else has been happening in your parts of town?

Aha... someone has been quite a busy bee these years, but of course that is to be expected. But isn't it true that a lot of college graduates do not continue in the field that they received their degree? I don't know the percentage, but at least half my high school teachers and administration were like that.

I too commend Jen for her tolerance with kids. I have quite the tolerance, but it has dwindled drastically with dealing with the kids of this country. I just can't stand them when they are 10-16 years old. =,=

Ina wrote:Artful, I traveled around central america for a few weeks mostly to see all the ruins, and found the people and the culture so incredibly un-American it was fantastic. I own a tree over looking Guatemala. How does the town you live in look? Do you not like it?

Well, I'm not in the Central Americas (Suriname is in between French Guyana and Venezuela), so I wouldn't be sure if there are 'ruins' of archeologist fame around. It's pretty a boring place to me now, but I haven't been to all the places. I mostly commute via bus (failed written driving test a couple times but other issues arose also) to and from to work and home. There are a lot of old houses, a hella lot more stores run by Chinese owners-there's like one chinese store on every block here- and businesses run by most people of the Hindustani culture. The thing is the economy is in such a state (get paid in SRD, buy homes for Euros and pay for everything else in USD), it's amazing to me it's still running. But other than that, there are a lot of Hollandian (ish what I calls 'em) travelers and interns (me-ow...) year round. It's a nice scenic place if you go to the right locations. Beware the poor... they are persistant...
Bottom line: It's alright, but to prosper- you really need to be somewhere else, work till your +70 or do something so signifigance that you can start a business out of it. Otherwise- you're a slave for peanuts when the economy demands cashews. Oh yeah- Bootleg capital! I got Silent Hill, Saw 3, Night at the Museum, and several other movies three days after they hit theaters. Music is the same also.

Thanks for the welcome bro...

I've had like the most boring time compared to ya'll!..

Last year i wanted to get into journalism and freelance photography.. we're direct descendants of indian aristocrats so for dad the idea of me going around looking for a job was like marring our family's pride and all. Thought about getting a degree in law.. but that would limit my horizons to india and.. I've always wanted to get out of here at the first chance i can grab. So went for the safest- engineering.. last two years have gone in entrance exam coachings.

7 30am -2pm school 3pm to 10 30 pm coaching.. and at least 45mins in between for travelling. It was horrendous. Facing my exams now.. maths tomorrow.. I'm praying for a perfect score becaus ei've been scared of maths ever since i can remember and 13years of school is long enough to have a phobia. So.. the entrance exams for different colleges will last till june.. then results.. if I'm worth a dime then by sept i'll have a decent college with a decent engi stream[electronis/telecommunication] otherwise.. will settle for somethign in architecture...

Then, I'll go in for my masters in business administration after engi with law as the minor subject.. should be nothing less than a fairytale job after like 21years of education man.

lets hope for the best

Where do you plan on working? Cos, I don't want to be a damper, but a lot of countries in the west don't hire people from the east, even if they have their degrees and experience. They have to redo their studies or their exams and it's harder.

yeah forgot to add.. during the coachign days had no time for self grooming... so got my hair cut short enough for people to completely refuse to believe i'm a girl. actually in india short haired women are a rarity.. and if you're coming home alone at 10 30 pm.. in this part of the world.. its advisable to not make a sow of one's feminine attributes. so you'd find me with a daniel hat, jacket, boots and my yamaha bike.

Lets play catch up…

School
I love school and graduated with all kinds of Honors and knowledge that I would never have acquired otherwise (I took a film class on Western for instance, or Women in Prehistory). College made me realize that I do not want to live in the hypocrital mess of America. So I have a plan to get my Masters in English and move to Poland and work as a translator. My goal is to work in the UN at some point. Right now I am working (JUST got a job after being fired a few months ago) at a law firm, which is a HUGE switch for me. I have to dress up like DownTown people, and be grown up and hide my tattoos. I like playing dress up.
I got fired because I got involved with my boss’s son. I am un -envolved with him now.

Travel
I have traveled a lot in the last year with my insane boyfriend Joshua. We had a turbulent relationship but a very rich one. We traveled all over Europe, Mexico and the U.S. and England. I just came back from a two month vacation. I also traveled around people’s houses for a while after Joshua tried to kill himself and I moved out. Various friends and family.

Relationship
Joshua and I have been on and off for two years. We fell into a slight drug phase when living together. It never got out of hand but it was not good for my psyche. He moved to England where he has a really good job and we might or might not be together after I get my masters. We should not be together but it is going to drag out until one of us crosses that faded line. Despite the chaos this relationship has been wonderful for my poetry. 

I dyed my hair black and got a canvas of tattoos up and down my arms. I feel like I am growing everyday and becoming less and less impulsive and more like a valuable contributor to society (just not American one). I blog about my life way too much, and swear way too little.

Divya Jyoti wrote:yeah forgot to add.. during the coachign days had no time for self grooming... so got my hair cut short enough for people to completely refuse to believe i'm a girl. actually in india short haired women are a rarity.. and if you're coming home alone at 10 30 pm.. in this part of the world.. its advisable to not make a sow of one's feminine attributes. so you'd find me with a daniel hat, jacket, boots and my yamaha bike.

Tina, I love hearing about your life in India. It is a culture that fascinates me. It is also the next country Josh and I want to visit. You are a strong woman in a society that is not use to strong women. Is your father more lenient than most? You drive for education and success is admirable. And girls who look like boys are sexy.

Jen wrote:Thanks Ina! I definitely hope I get to be around them more often. They created this amazing atmosphere and were so much more fascinating to be around. They are attentive to the most minute of details, it's impressive. Like, when a leaf would fall into the pool, most of the kids would just keep splashing, but they would stop what they were doing and watch the leaf in the water (they couldn't swim, so we had to follow them everywhere they went, hold them up). What they see and hear is so different from what we perceive. Cos of them I'm still learning (and slowly tuning myself) to that way of thinking- finding the little things that mean the most

How about you Ina, what else has been happening in your parts of town?

you should write a poem about what you just wrote here. It is abeautiful image of the leaf falling in the pool and all the kids fascinated by the gentle sound and ripples. Beautiful description!

Ina wrote:Tina, I love hearing about your life in India. It is a culture that fascinates me. It is also the next country Josh and I want to visit. You are a strong woman in a society that is not use to strong women. Is your father more lenient than most? You drive for education and success is admirable. And girls who look like boys are sexy.

haha dunno if I'm strong but I'm a woman who wants to live in a society where people merely want to survive. Nah my father isn't lenient at all.. my curfew is 7 pm[when i dont have my classes].. no parties at all.. no night stays with friends.. no boyfriends[i choose to disobey this one].. no guys calling up my place... hno halters.. short skirts strapppy/strapless shirts...

so basically the only brilliant thing abotu him is that he desnt force his religious views on me.. and thats enough.. it gives me th freedom to move out for a good college.. study as much as i want.. attend co-ed classes and all.. but still i love my adda.. couldn't have wished for a better one.

as for my drive for education.. its just money.. i don't ever want to come to a day when my salary limits and dictates my whims and fancies.

Jen..

I dont want to be employed full time abroad.. do things on contract basis.. like microsoft issues h1B visas that are temporary work permits.. japanese engineers are employed all over the world on contract basis for sky scraper development.. honestly i would die by being anywhere outside india for long.. my day doesnt end till i swear in hindi.. living outside is too my work.. there are no househelp. you need to wash your own clothes and dishes.. clean your house.. cook your food.. naah.. working on contract basis is much better and has highr profit margins.

besides if i do my MBA from IIM.. i wouldnt have to redo the course.. its accepted worldwide.

Then YAY! Cos, I was reading something in the newspaper this weekend, talking about people who come here with Civil Engineering degrees and not able to find work cos their degrees aren't valid.

Aww... Lil' sis isn't so little anymore... I'm just going to have to call her Sis now... or just Divya. I've always liked that name, despite you always liking Tina before. And before I forget to ask, do you celebrate Subh Holi? It's coming up and more than a quarter of this nation that is Hindustani or of Indian descent will be celebrating. This also means no work for me till Tuesday!!

Jen that's because civil engineering here.. means a little more than architecture.. we're not trained in tunnel testing our designs to see how they'll handle the wind.. most colleges have no idea about the designs that include a separate floor with shock absorber machinery to handle an earthquale situation. Infact things are so bad that the commonwealth village we're building in delhi is in flood/sand sifting region of yamuna.. it hasn't been approved by the yamuna restoration committe yet state government is choosing to go ahead with the project. But yes.. like the ivy league colleges of US there are quite a few institutes in India that impart responsible eucation. Besides, I need not be dependant on foreign MNC's to employ me. If I'm good enough India based MNC's like Birla or Tata or Dhirubhai Ambani group or Infosys will employ me.

Bro.. naah I'm still the kid in a lot of ways, just will be pushed into adult realities this 24th april[18th birthday YUCK!].. so just making sure i don't get too much of a shock then. And no I hate all festivals.. I hate all the bad quality colour that gets thrown on everyone on Holi... and for guys who're unrecognizable with all that colour its a plain simple opportunity to molest girls out to celebrate, and girls don't even report that under the various excuses of shame/culture etc. I'm not up for al that at all.

Divya, it has been twice now that you have spoken about the dangers and threat of being a woman in India...despite Americas fleeting attention toward the middle east regarding the rape victim who herself was beaten for allowing herself to be raped, America does not open the pandora's box and really talk about women's daily life in, for example India. I just tried googling "dangers for women in India" and i got abortion, HIV, domestic suicide, but nothing rape and molestation related. Is it because it is hard for reporters to get the full story, is it very secretive (like what goes on during Subh Holi)?Is it political, or maybe it is just a hopeless cause for change...? I know very little about a female's life in India but I do know that the country values their women and their work more so than other regional countries. Its not like rape is not prevalent in the states but women do not have that fear seated in their frontal lobe at all times. I am just thinking out loud but I would love to hear from you.

Divya Jyoti wrote:

Ina wrote:Tina, I love hearing about your life in India. It is a culture that fascinates me. It is also the next country Josh and I want to visit. You are a strong woman in a society that is not use to strong women. Is your father more lenient than most? You drive for education and success is admirable. And girls who look like boys are sexy.

haha dunno if I'm strong but I'm a woman who wants to live in a society where people merely want to survive. Nah my father isn't lenient at all.. my curfew is 7 pm[when i dont have my classes].. no parties at all.. no night stays with friends.. no boyfriends[i choose to disobey this one].. no guys calling up my place... hno halters.. short skirts strapppy/strapless shirts...

so basically the only brilliant thing abotu him is that he desnt force his religious views on me.. and thats enough.. it gives me th freedom to move out for a good college.. study as much as i want.. attend co-ed classes and all.. but still i love my adda.. couldn't have wished for a better one.

as for my drive for education.. its just money.. i don't ever want to come to a day when my salary limits and dictates my whims and fancies.

Jen..

I dont want to be employed full time abroad.. do things on contract basis.. like microsoft issues h1B visas that are temporary work permits.. japanese engineers are employed all over the world on contract basis for sky scraper development.. honestly i would die by being anywhere outside india for long.. my day doesnt end till i swear in hindi.. living outside is too my work.. there are no househelp. you need to wash your own clothes and dishes.. clean your house.. cook your food.. naah.. working on contract basis is much better and has highr profit margins.

besides if i do my MBA from IIM.. i wouldnt have to redo the course.. its accepted worldwide.

"no boyfriends altough I chose to disobey that one"!! Ha!
where does one go for a date in India?
...and you have househelp...I am trying hard to not to romantisize all of this and be a stupid American who is not really American but quite Polish and will be back in Poland soon enough and will forget America was ever part of her historical DNA.

Haha its not as bad as you think.. the dating scene here. A bar isn't the ideal pickup place though.. coffee and pizza joints are more like it. The band scene.. rock music and all is growing pretty fast so you'd find school/college bands practising in coffee shops and girls swooning behind them. However, the geeks are more popular.. I mean.. intelligent and rich guy-ideal choice[remember the stefania line "Minds seduce me bodies don't"]. My guy is like a maths genius so..no proper dating for us but.. half and hour before or after tests/classes we'd hang around.

Ina wrote:Divya, it has been twice now that you have spoken about the dangers and threat of being a woman in India...despite Americas fleeting attention toward the middle east regarding the rape victim who herself was beaten for allowing herself to be raped, America does not open the pandora's box and really talk about women's daily life in, for example India. I just tried googling "dangers for women in India" and i got abortion, HIV, domestic suicide, but nothing rape and molestation related. Is it because it is hard for reporters to get the full story, is it very secretive (like what goes on during Subh Holi)?Is it political, or maybe it is just a hopeless cause for change...? I know very little about a female's life in India but I do know that the country values their women and their work more so than other regional countries. Its not like rape is not prevalent in the states but women do not have that fear seated in their frontal lobe at all times. I am just thinking out loud but I would love to hear from you.

Basically people don't speak up. Even if they do, things and cases are burried, liek the Scarlett keeling case, the police tried their best to get away with a lousy drug overdose excuse even though they were under the strict watch of the british embassy at least. Do you think they'd as much as blink and eyelid if it happened to an indian? not really. Its really depraved here.. I live in a really good housing society.. but not even 100meters from ym house women taking walks are dragged forcibly by bikers to isolated corners.. gagged molested and left.. and no one speaks a word outside gossip circles. No FIRs no complaints at all, there's this big dignity farce. And there's so much abuse in their own homes.. abusive husbands and in-laws most of the time that bringing things to the notice of their families is bad enough.

The indian culture is really good for magazines.. for tourists visiting places liek rajasthan.. but you can't happily live as a part of it. I mean think about it.. all your life you're expected to be a puritan, your husband expects you to be untouched and then suddenly post marriage you're expected to meet the needs of your spouse.. the sudden overnight change is not possible. So most people here have really unhappy realationships. The women being valued thing is debatable.. you knwo in a few states the women to men ratio is even less than 729 women per thousand men.. the probability of a male and female child is fifty percent each so.. just think where all the women are going? maybe I'm extraordinarily unlucky or extraordinarily aware to notice all the above.. but i don't like the state of affairs.

As for the househelp thing.. hehe I'm kind of pampered that way.. we have a cook, a washerwoman, another one to do the utensils and mop the floors, clean the bathrooms, gardener, and a full time housemaid. And its pretty commonplace here to have all the above. So.. i'm spoilt enough to venever even make my bed, I only cook my meals[seldom] if the food's not good.

Divya, I read your article, top to bottom and found it useful even in my case. I am wondering what makes Indian men so much more rumbunctious than men in other countries and it must be the lack of fear of the law. Here, if a co worker looks at you the wrong way he can have a law suit on his hands. Women fought hard in the states but they did not have religion leeching on our back preventing a true fight. There are some theories that the depreciation of women started after the technological revolution because before and during early agricultural times in most cultures there was matrifocality (like matriarchy but without the term "dominated") and now we have to undo the damage. In India, i dont understand how religion has led to such an uneven distribution of men and women's importance (because it was not technology that put women in the slave category). Hinduism does not even have one sacred text from which to really drink from...multiple dieties I would think would lead to more of a tolerance. So where are the origins of descrimination; I cannot believe that men were simply born more dominating and women more passive...women were fairing very well hunting and carrying children, menstruating and cooking. You know a woman invented agriculture in the middle east, cradle of civilization...so how has it become so un scaled? It really pisses me off.
I had a fight with the these anthropologist at this Cahokia site in Southern Illinois last year (Cahokia is Native American Mounds) because he was arguing for women sacrifices and I wrote a whole THESIS paper about how to find women in the Cahokian ruins and NOT interpret them in the sexist fashion but rather with gynocentric frame of mind. I got kicked out of their SITE Museum.
ok enough of me for one day.
lovely to talk to you again.

Ina wrote:Hey Celena, after four years of studying Psychology and receiving my BA in that field I want NOTHING to do with psychology/psychiatry EVER. I have lost so much respect for the profession...but there is so much you can do with a Psych degree. Right now I work for a law firm, and one of the things they were looking for was a psych degree. So dont worry, you are in demand in other fields besides Psychology, social work, and counseling.

Sorry, for barging into this thread so late. Are there notifications on because my memory is like swiss cheese. What is BA short for? Here we have a bachelors degree and a master so is a BA all of it in one? And what kind of work do you do? How the hell did you get the job??

LOve, Sel.

Celena_J wrote:

Ina wrote:Hey Celena, after four years of studying Psychology and receiving my BA in that field I want NOTHING to do with psychology/psychiatry EVER. I have lost so much respect for the profession...but there is so much you can do with a Psych degree. Right now I work for a law firm, and one of the things they were looking for was a psych degree. So dont worry, you are in demand in other fields besides Psychology, social work, and counseling.

Sorry, for barging into this thread so late. Are there notifications on because my memory is like swiss cheese. What is BA short for? Here we have a bachelors degree and a master so is a BA all of it in one? And what kind of work do you do? How the hell did you get the job??

LOve, Sel.

BA is a bachelors degree and MA is a masters degree, if I'm correct. I never had either, so I'm out of the loop!