The Vent is Fixed

my rant today is about the first game of the spring soccer league.

We were playing a team which is a real rival of ours. They are very rough, and will gladly kick, elbow, etc etc. Today they were doing the same, and the refs seemed to be daydreaming. one even admitted jokingly as we were standing near each other, that he didnt even see a play that just happened in which one of my teammates was left on the ground.

halfway through the second half, my friend maria has the ball, and one of their guys come running at her full speed, makes no attempt to play the ball or stop, or slow down, and appears to ram her, elbow first, RIGHT in her boob. she drops like a sack of potatoes, HOWLING in pain clutching her chest. that prick bastard just walked away. the refs called a penalty, and even gave him a yellow card...but that was clearly a red card offense, and I had simply had enough of the refs letting them get away with murder. someone was going to get seriously hurt if nothing was done. I was so livid, so angry and disgusted with the refs that I started screaming at one that he damn well better DO something about it. no more "I didnt see it", or whatever reason they ever gave for not controlling the game like they should have been. after asking him what clown college he went to, then saying he better do his F**ing job, he gave ME a yellow card. deserved I suppose, but whatever, it was worth it.

a few minutes later, that same guy who hurt my friend gets the ball. I barreled into him much harder than I normally would have, but I didnt knock him down or hurt him. the ref blows the whistle and gives me a second yellow. two yellows = one red, and I was thrown out of the game. If I'd known i was going to get another yellow card for bumping the guy I would have put my elbow in his face while doing it. I was so...just...raging. they were hurting all my teammates, friends, and the refs were letting them get away with it.

we're supposed to have a game tomorrow, but when you get a red card you have to sit out the next game as well.

I'm still thinking about it, arguing in my head with ghost referees who just keep on with that blank look and reach in their pocket for yellow and red cards.

Ah, gotta hate the way these referees love to look the other way. As if nothing could be wrong in their eyes for the other team, but as soon as you get dirty with the people spreading the dirt, they pick you up on it. I would have just up'd and started a brawl right then and there, but that's just me. They're probably bribed anyway.
But yeah, maybe you can do something to catch them on it the next time you play them. Pure video footage hardly lies my friend.

Wow, stupid potardos. Man, I remember bull calls like that during the games I played. Some girl from the other team pushed me out of the net to score a goal... she was funny.
Is she all right now? Boobie checks hurt.

Jeremy wrote:

Ina wrote:my boyfriend. When even for a second I falter in filling him with reassurance, love and attention he begins to think the worst, he starts saying I am acting weird and something is wrong

Isnt that a huge red flag for you? Not tryin to talk shit or belittle your relationship/man, but...I guess I had you pegged as someone who would require a strong willed man?

strong willed man...haha oh he is...but did you not also see me with a crazy unpredictable mental man? I would not be with a "pussy," but I would most definitely not be with a dominating jerk. A guy who can stand up to me is hott, a guy who is arrogant will only hear insults from me. JOshua is insecure and at the same time narcissistic, his adoration and respect for me suits me quite well. His tantrums (last night the respect computer programmer who is thirty btw send me pictures from London of slicing his upper bicep because I told him his alcoholism is making me hate him, in little doses). I need a grounded gentleman thats for sure, simple and confident ,unfortunately I am not attracted to those and they bore me. Those who have an ounce of weakness, a personality that is passive will be ultimately corrupted by me. As horrible and bitchy as that sounds it is a pattern that has been consistent to the dot in my life. Therefore, I must stick out with the Brilliant Suicidal Emo boy who surprisingly takes care of me like no other man could until I get sick of it and turn boring.

is this the venting thread? I hope...because this is what made me angry today untill the speed of my circulating blood reached the speed of light...

"It's funny how much everyone loves you when you fit their needs, their
ideas of who you should be. It's funny how they hate you when you fall
outside of that. When you don't fit the mold. I will clean my life. For
me, not for us. Whether or not you put "stock" in it. I'm sorry that I
failed you and myself again.

All my love,

Joshua"



it is all a mind f*ck.

may i stick my big fat shiney nose in? that seems awfully manipulative...and sending someone pictures of you mutilating your body is the opposite of an act of love and can only be done to help him deny responsibility for himself to himself. If someone did that to me i would be so pissed off and turned off because its so...(no offence intended) pathetically needy. Its like having an infant-partner; its too unbalanced and would surely keep toppling?

love it wrote:may i stick my big fat shiney nose in? that seems awfully manipulative...and sending someone pictures of you mutilating your body is the opposite of an act of love and can only be done to help him deny responsibility for himself to himself. If someone did that to me i would be so pissed off and turned off because its so...(no offence intended) pathetically needy. Its like having an infant-partner; its too unbalanced and would surely keep toppling?

oh you are absolutely right. i am truly aware of this. my best friend called him a terrorist. she even went as far as to say I am being abused, mentally. i need people telling me this, i need more people telling me i am stupid...otherwise i forget and fall into his rationality which is very irrational and like you said manipulative. It is a cycle that is very hard to exit, love, hate, dependency, and empathy. oh and hope.

I don't mean to support this in any way, but, you'll be hit in the face when it's time to leave it. So take the time to enjoy the good thing the relationship offers and when you know nothing else will come of it, then by all means... good luck.

there's this idiotic entrance exam.. till last year 120questions came.. anyone who did 75-80 with min. 70 correct was safe.. this year.. 105 questions only.. my target was to do more than 65.. while attempting the paper.. i never managed to count after 55.. lack of time.. ended up countign after the papaer got over.. 58 questions.. and the first thing in my mind- "i needed another 7 correct questions by all means".. then everyone told me paper was tough.. blah blah blah.. everyone attempted just a few..

so according to my estimate.. i'm getting 170 something marks.. and today.. the various cutoff reports online.. claim that i need a 190 minimum to get into a national institute of engineering.. and another 7questions.. would mean.. 21 marks. so.. there's a risk that i might not get into any mind numblingly good college.. thanks to.. 7 questions.. or the lack of them.

Why are they so tough in India? I think that's quite ridiculous.

because we're over a billion people in a country with maximum corruption and minimum dignity for labour. About 3 lakh[3 hundred thousand] people are appearing for IIT, intake it 7000.. for good stream of engineering 3500 all india rank. for AIEEE 9 lakh people are appearing.. intake in nation instis- 9850.. for good streams.. 4000.. add a few good private colleges.. and top 15,000 can get the college they would like with the stream they would like.. my rank is estimated at 23,000.. so unless some epidemic breaks out.. and wipes 7,000 ranks ahead of mine.. i'll spend the next four years in some unrecognizeable college. government is planning to implement 63% reservations for other backward classes, children of martyrs and all.. so general category intake about 37%.. right now its 73% intake for geenral category.. only the geenral category gets in on credit basis.. rest on need before credit.. I am the geenral category.. we get punished for NOT being socially and educationally backward. so after the 63% comes in.. about 7000 people will get in due to the efforts they put in.. rest.. bank on the government's appeasement policy.

its disgusting.

It's like that all over the fucking world, I hate it,

I don't understand why people bother with some things, I mean, Take a look at South Africa, What was once a racist country towards the coloured/black (i always get mixed up on which is the "pc" one to use) population, Is now a racist country towards the white population,
Now, I want to point out before anyone gets the wrong idea, I'm not complaining in a manner of; "Ol' I miss them days!", Hah!

But, Their government is only shifting this "power" (for lack of a better word) because of how rightly shunned racism is, But, This is still racism, It's one big fucking circle and it makes me sick, People will never live without things such as racism because people cannot live without hate, A hatred for something.

Aaand, Again, I'm not pointing fingers, I just struggle to see how we as a species are going to survive as a species!

Ah, None of that probably made sense! I got myself too angry!

Basically, (And this is what I try to do) - We shouldn't fill ourselves with hatred, It's a negative feeling and in turn will only bring us down as an individual, We need to fill ourselves with love for one another, Forgiveness onto one another and understanding toward one another.

RANT OVER!